He scans an apple.Machine says loudly: âBANANA. TWO EUROS.â He freezes. Tries to cancel. âUNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA.â He removes the item.It screams louder: âREMOVE BANANA. REMOVE BANANA.â He…
Man walks in. Needs to wash hands. Sees soap dispenser.Waves hand. Nothing. Waves again. Faster. Still nothing.Waves both hands like a wizard.Still dry. Looks around. Nobody there. He starts arguing…
He walks in. Confident. Sharp suit.Nods to the receptionist. Sits down.Banana in pocket. Obvious. Weird bulge. Nobody says anything. He gets called in.Stands up, banana falls out.He panics. Kicks it under…
You know that moment?You say âOkay, talk later!âAnd they go: âWaitâjust one more thing.â No. You had your shot. I emotionally unplugged.My body is still here but my soul already…
Cooking rice for myself? Easy. No stress.Cooking rice for guests?Suddenly Iâm Gordon Ramsay having a meltdown in my own kitchen. I triple-wash it.I measure the water like itâs nuclear fuel.I…
Google Maps told me: “Arrive in 15 minutes.”But what it meant was:“Prepare for war.” It sent me through a back alley, across a construction site, and down a road only goats…
I downloaded Tinder again, even though I knew it was a mistake.It’s like re-downloading trauma. With filters. Every guyâs bio is like: âNot looking for drama.âTranslation: Causes drama but hates being…
You ever try leaving a group chat?You canât. You get emotionally blackmailed by emojis. You hit âLeave Group,â and instantly you getâUser has left.âLike a suicide note with Wi-Fi. Then comes…